07 November 2005

black borders

over the weekend I went to the dedication of a city park which bears the names of 2 brothers. both gay. both murderd (in separate crimes). I was on a board with one of them   Herman Rodgriquez. on Dia de Los Muertos I'd been walking in Rosario Cemetery where the brothers are buried.

perhaps that was still with me last nite in my dreams. suddenly there was my best friend from boyhood. I embracd him & sd "Tom   it's so good to see you." he lookd deep into my eyes & sd "I'm dead... & you're next." that may be a bad movie line but it startld me awake in the middle of the nite. between tossing there were moments asleep but all with dark imagery.

when I finally got out of bed   exhaustd   I turnd on the computer. the 1st thing I do is check my mail & then the obits. I was shockd to find Sheree North   whose movies Tom & I both liked as boys. she grew from sexpot to accomplishd actress.

I dashd to the gym to try to exorcise my anxiety. when I returnd there was an e-mail from a friend telling me of the death of John Fowles. at one time Fowles was Tom's favorite author. he's give me his copies of the novels after he read them.

I'm almost afraid to go outside to the mailbox.

No comments: