27 August 2022

the power of photography

 this morning my friend Lisa messaged me some photos which pop'd up in Memories on her phone. they were taken on my only trip to Disneyland. we are with our mutual friend Bob Barnes whose love of all things Disney was only matchd by his adoration for "I Love Lucy."

I had never seen these photos. they are particularly poignant because Bob was so averse to having his photo taken. but here he begins to let down his guard. he was having a great day. & he was sharing his joy with friends who cared deeply for him (even when he verged on crazy which he cd do well).

last nite I "found" some folks from my past via internet searching. I so wantd to write Bob telling him of my excitement & filling him in on some details which I knew he'd find juicy. this still happens. I continue to miss him in my life.

so seeing us being happy on that day brings me comfort. for whatever happens in my next chapter I know I already have novels of living on the shelf.

24 August 2022


 1) I love lists


2) I've reached that age in which the act of summing up is beginning to begin

here's one:

My Best Penpals (so far)

Roberta Elzey Berke

T.R. Queen

Ira Joel Haber

Richard Martin

Bob Barnes

14 August 2022

all cut up


I'm delightd to be the subject of this handcut collage by Lova Delis as part of her current analog glitch series.

she didn't know it when picking background elements but that magazine ad resonates for me. "True Story" began in 1919 publishd by a company calld True Rendition. I don't recall it as clearly as I do its competition when I was growing up in the '50s. "True Confessions" was first publishd by Fawcett in 1922. & that magazine came into our house. I suspect it wasn't Mom who subscribd but her crazy sister who also "handed down" copies of "Confidential." I was much more interestd in what seemd lurid to a movie mad boy in the latter which Mom calld a "scandal magazine." however I began writing early & sought publication wherever. I have a dim memory of some sort of contest or call for entries in "True Confessions." & even tho I didn't read the magazine I think I sent something in which was publishd. what surprises me is that I have no copy of whatever it was. as far as I know my first magazine appearance was a letter to the editor in "Screen Stories" (item C1 in my bibliography). & I think that page is with my papers at Kent. perhaps my appearance in "True Confessions" soon embarrassed me enuf to dispose of it long ago along with all memory of it.

long story....... but that all came back seeing the ad Lova put beside me in her piece.

06 August 2022

boite de serviettes

 I abhor smoking. but in my drinking days I puffd the occasional cigaret. & once —— while quite drunk —— I allowd Jonathan Williams to give me one of his cigars.

this box apparently was made in Honduras but containd 25 cigars from Nicaragua. it was Jonathan’s. he brought it on one of his Kent visits & I askd him for it.

over the years I used the box to store whatnots. but for its eternity I’ve decided to fill it with paper napkins from my travels. & as a tribute to the creative process I’m writing with my Bar Cecil pen on those napkins ——- remembering past times when I had an idea & wrote it down on a napkin.

03 August 2022


this was the word Grandpa Gildzen used for bus.

it just poppd into my head.

I don't remember the last time it was in my head.

02 August 2022

Louis Falco at 80

I still see that glorious body

suspended in air

or wrappd in wheels 

stopping time

dance does that

or sex or a poem

I spread fig preserves 

on boulart toast

& remember the dancer

gliding thru my guests

at a party at my lake house

for a moment time stops again

he's in mid-leap

& I'm too young to realize

how soon the curtain drops

(photo by Jack Mitchell)