spring

the gift we get
for surviving winter

at Brussels airport

1987

terrorism must not stop us from traveling.

however it is one more challenge at a time when the flying experience has long lost the allure it had when I was young.

busy

so many things happening at once.  little time to write poems or add posts here.

tough times

time change always makes me grumpy. & right now the severity of allergy season has me in tears.  then the house is back on the market. my realtor equates that activity with the stress of a funeral.

all of this is backdrop for the emotional turmoil of watching millions of my countrymen gleefully standing in line to drink the orange man's kool aid.

politix

a nitemare abt the election woke me at 2 a.m.

I can't believe that a nation as large as ours is unable to find one person substantial enuf to fill Obama's shoes.

Trump is a vulgarian & bully. he looks like a clown & sounds like a dictator.  Cruz is a psychopath. & I do believe the circumstances of his birth make him ineligible to be president. Hillary is clearly the most qualified candidate but carries more baggage than Louis Vuitton.  & I'd say the elderly Bernie is the most irritating Democrat to ever run except that he's an Independent.

I fear where we're going.

drawing (n.d.)

Julia's cake

for the first time this year I did some packing. & in the process I discoverd a cache of recipes. 99% went in the trash. but among the few I kept was this from Favorite Recipes of Ohio (1964):

I've written often of my dear friend Julia Waida. & I know part of my memories of her  centers around her triumphs as a chef.  here she is at one of the birthday dinners she made for me.

Mary Ann Scherr (1921-2016)

photo by Doug Moore

she was the first jewelry artist I ever knew.

I remember her at parties as a person who enjoyd life.

& when I was a staff writer at Kent State University Service I remember interviewing her abt her work.

here is the photograph taken of me so many years ago wearing the ring she designd with "Alex" as part of the design.  it's now in the collection of Kent State University Museum.

knobs & beads

Jerry Maren (1920-2016)

I took this at Hollywood Roosevelt in 2007 just before the last surviving Munchkins got a star on the Walk of Fame.

Maren is wearing a Lollipop Guild cap.

Dad

died on Leap Day.  so he's been gone for 8 years but today is only the second anniversary.

Walter Kundzicz (1925-2016)

when I was growing up there was no internet & censorship was so severe full frontal photographs were illegal. I'm not sure how I found my way to the cigar store on the corner which also sold magazines. & I don't know why that store sold certain magazines to a kid.  but after I discoverd physique periodicals I was hookd.

even now with dicks sticking out at us from everywhere I have a fondness for those old photos of men in posing straps.  a few years ago I even wrote a long poem abt it.

I never knew the names of the photographers. if they did use a name it often was as fake as those of their models. Kundzicz was the man behind Champion Studios.

the young who click their crotches on phones & immediately send those photos everywhere may find this kind of image quaint.  but for men of my generation looking back is a powerful mix of nostalgia & desire.

out of the past

August Highland publishd this introduction to my life as a writer more than a dozen yerars ago. somewhere along the way it disappeard.  but now it's back online.

Robert Bertholf (1940-2016)

talk abt complicated relationships. Bob & I alternated between civility & combat. he regarded me as a lightweight & hated my poetry. he calld one of my books "a piece of shit."  at the time I certainly was pissd at him but over the years I came to admire him for at least telling me that to my face. however he remains a controversial figure who probably has more detractors than fans.

when he was abt to leave Kent State I tried to take the high road. I got Robert Duncan -- who he worshipped -- to give me a poem which I turnd into a splendid broadside as a farewell token. Bob seemd appreciative but then cdn't resist being Bob.  he askd me for the manuscript & all correspondence I had with Duncan. sorry Bob -- that's now in my papers at Kent.

this may be the only photo in which we share space.  I had a small party at my place in Twin Lakes at which I presentd him with the broadside. I'm over on the left. then my mentor Howard P. Vincent & poet Richard Blevins. Bob is in the hat.

since

I bitchd abt the severity of our winter I feel I shd say that last week we broke a record in the other direction.  it got to 70.

altho this unexpectd warm spell felt good it screwd up what are normal cycles.  so buds are beginning which means pollen which means allergies.

I made this valentine for my parents 21 years ago.

the scene is Napoleon OH -- the town in which they were married.

Alicia Metcalf Miller

I don't get a newspaper.  so I just learnd of her death this morning.

Alicia was a member of Kent State University's board of trustees who was a particular friend & supporter of Special Collections. in her foreward to 25 Years she wrote:

Kent's Special Collections, particularly in poetry, theater, and children's literature, reflects an unusual level of wisdom and taste.  Largely responsible for that are its two curators, Dean H. Keller (1968-83) and Alex Gildzen (1984-93).

For more than good caretakers, these two men have nudged, cajoled, even wrestled the collection into its current, very appealing shape. They have practiced sleight-of-hand, dogged willfulness, and charming persuasion, guided always by a clear-eyed vision of what Kent's Special Collections is and might be. Conquering obstacles that would have stymied fainter hearts, they have maintained that vision with considerable discernment. loyalty, and wit.

Alicia was also supportive of my move to Santa Fe where she & her husband Bill quickly establishd themselves as model citizens following their move from Chagrin Falls.

friendships ebb & tide. somewhere along the way Alicia & I stoppd seeing each other. but today I remember a time at her house when I was reading out loud to her adorable mother Maudwynn from Alicia's first novel. quietly Alicia approachd from somewhere & gave me a hug. the look in her eyes then is what I'm thinking of now.

had he lived

James Dean wd be celebrating his 85th birthday today.

every year on his birthday I remember when I threw a party for his 50th. the invitation featured my poem "Autobiographical Fragment" with a portrait of the actor by Jim Provenzano.  I still have some copies hanging around.

however I also printed -- on special paper -- only 20 copies of just the poem & drawing. Jim & I signd the numberd copies.  it's item A26 in my bibliography. & even tho it isn't the fiction he became famous for I suspect it's the first item in Jim's biblio.

happy birthday

a line from "Outlaw Dreams" :

I dreamt Mamie Van Doren made a recording of “The Century Dimes” while topless.

today the Atomic Blonde turns 85 & she's still posing naked.

here we are in Palm Springs a few years ago.

if

I ever meet El Nino at a party I'll kick him in the balls 

another

good day before the storm.  so back to town.

breakfast at Cafe Pasqual with Karen Leigh:

then a stroll up & down Canyon Rd.

altho still popular with tourists this stretch of real estate has largely lost its allure for locals. it certainly doesn't have the verve I recall when moving here nearly 22 years ago.

then back to Ecco & a wee chat with JC Gonzo abt a collaboration.

avant le deluge

the proctologist of winter suggests a big rip next week. considering I may be snowbound for days I took the reins.  did the shave/shower routine. then bus hop to town.

had a visit with the Yatika Starr Fields columns.

then a chat with Holly Coonsis before looking at some art. a quick gassy lunch at Bad Ass. then a surprise Ecco encounter with Red Cell a month before he relocates to Istanbul.

finally a bit of shopping. Cheesemongers for blue & Plaza Cafe for cake.

my ice day

took pick to pond where ice was at least 3 inches deep.

this ice chunk hunkers beside my glass block from the Venice in Kent.

then inside for some rare daytime televiewing. men's finals at national figure skating championships.  some lovely skating. but again those controversial judges who love to ruin these events.

the snow globe in these shots was a farewell gift from my library staff who probably didn't realize how brutal winters can be in Santa Fe.

my friend Sheila

in the last few days there has been quite some chatter on Facebook abt Sheila Smith.  so I decided to share her contribution to Gildzen at 50:

Sheila became a Broadway legend when she went on for Angela Lansbury as "Mame" for which she won the Theater World Award. at that stage in her career she was already well-known to theater insiders but suddenly was being treatd as a star.

she went on to tour in the show.  here's a poster:

as part of the Facebook discussion abt her someone postd this rare video of her early in her career:

helping me make it

El Nino has made this some winter to survive. I do what I can to get thru.

but for the past few weeks I've had some joy within my adobe walls. this has had more blooms than ever.

I took a small cutting of this cactus from my resort in Palm Springs years ago. each of these pink blossoms returns me there.

a piece of the past

today is the anniversary of the crash that killd Carole Lombard.

one of the strangest gifts I've ever rec'd was a small piece of wreckage from her plane found on Potosi Mountain just outside Las Vegas.  & it happend that my friend Gary gave it to me just as we were to take one of our road trips.  this one included the small town of Oatman where Lombard honeymoond with Clark Gable.

here are some photos of me & plane piece & honeymoon hotel & "The Book of Java" at the hotel restaurant.

remembering David

one of the positive aspects of Facebook is as a connection tool.

recently someone postd on the Kent page that she had items she purchased at the David Meredith estate sale that she didn't want.  she was hoping a friend of his mite contact her.  so I did.

& today a box arr'd. there was nothing major in it. his sister had already sent me items from his art collection as a bequest. but these minor things were so David.  esp when he included handwritten notes giving their history. it's moving to have more reminders of this dear friend.

butts in Brazil

gymnast Paul Ruggeri posts this picture of him at his hotel in Rio.

it reminds me of this shot of me when I was there.

erasures

"milk can in snow"

finding beauty

when it's too cold to be happy you have to work harder. after a late start & 2 cups of coffee I lookd outside & saw ice. but there also was sun.  so I grabbd the camera.  I knew if I was to make it thru the day I had to put on a positive scarf & task myself myself with joy.  joy is always there.  but sometimes we have to dig to find it.

after taking photos I felt my day had truly begun. it was time to come inside. to throw off my clothes. to be photographd by Jim Ferringer. drawn by John MacConnell. filmd by James Bidgood. time to smile with a smile that wd melt this ice.

none of these things are happening. I'm in a cold place. but smile I try. & a couple of the photos work. & I have poems to write & collages to construct.

I will make it thru winter.

David Bowie (1947-2016)

the Globes were so awful I went right to bed.  so I didn't learn of his death till I turnd on Facebook this morning.

I didn't know he was sick so this death was a particular shock.  Bowie was one of those artists from my long ago who kept growing & changing & creating. I no longer recall when I was first aware of him. but once his presence appeard he never left the stage.  one of the earliest mentions I can find was listening to him on Xmas of 1972 (as documentd in The Year Book).

there's no denying his importance as a musical figure. but he also had a significant acting career.  I remember being startld by him in "The Man Who Fell to Earth."  & I saw him on Broadway as a force in "The Elephant Man."

& now we see his majestic exit plan. my first viewing of "Lazarus" was both a punch in the gut & a hallelujah to an artist who knew how to depart.

Mom's famous collection

there was a great deal of publicity when my mother donated her autograph collection to Kent State University Libraries.  but this morning was the first time I discoverd this.

not long ago Mom askd me to send her one of the articles abt her collection. of all the press coverage I think the best was this from the Lorain Journal the last week of 1997:

attack

just learnd of the stabbing of playwright David Henry Hwang.  glad he survived.

here's a photo I took of him in Santa Fe a few years ago:

Vilmos Zsigmond (1930-2016)

I took this at Santa Film Festival in 2008

mail

last of 2015:
haikus from M. J. Arcangelini

first of 2016:
book from Richard Stabbert

"& so it begins one more time"

I call Alex in Movieland a list poem. some look at it & say it's just a long list. well that's part of it. but one of several things that for me make it a poem as well is rime. but a different kind of rime.

for instance last nite I wore to dinner the I Paralleli silk scarf from La Coupole in Venice.  you can see me wearing it at that 1983 NYE dinner at Taverna la Fenice in one of the photographs in yesterday's post.  for me wearing it again last nite allowd me to include it in Alex in Movieland & that that inclusion is a rime. perhaps more of a cinematic rime. but then I've calld this work the movie of my life / my life as a movie.