Bob Barnes (1963-2021)

 we are warnd abt meeting people online. I'm lucky. abt a quarter century ago I became part of a group that met regularly in a chatroom. in the early years of our chatting I met several of these men & a couple became great friends.

one of them I first knew as Malibu Boy. he cd be wickedly funny. but he was also mysterious. it turnd out he wasn't a Californian at all but a Texan. & because of the sensitivity of his job with the US District Court he kept a low profile & forbade use of his image on social media.

soon we began e-mailing daily. Bob called me his "greatest penpal." eventually he visited me in Santa Fe & I him in Fort Worth. we trustd each other & shared secrets. & we laughd. boy did we laugh. like any deep friendship there cd be prickly moments but we workd them out.

besides being one of my best friends Bob was one of my biggest fans. his last e-mail to me began: The Khashoggi poem was excellent. he was over the moon with "Covid Valentine" & wonderd if anyone wd find one of the hearts & keep it. & over the years he became part of several of my pieces ("The 1943 Pennies" & "Torn Together" & "Butch Series" & "Book of Java"). every time he visitd we had to shop at Trina Turk. so he put at the top of our to-do list for that next visit my bench in front of the store.

Bob retired last year. his plan was to divide his time between Fort Worth & Palm Springs. on his last visit we lookd at rental properties. & he constantly checkd the market. just last week he mentiond a unit for sale in my complex. but then the pandemic...

the kettle was on when an unexpectd call came last nite. I wonderd why I had no e-mail from him all day. in shock I went to the guest room he loved. there waiting for his next visit was a little box. from it I removed the Lucy mug I purchased for him just before lockdown a year ago. I put a tea bag in it & filld it with hot water. Lucy & I sat at the patio where Bob & I had laughd. it was a beautiful nite. even tho there were tears on my face I felt a smile as I lookd up at the stars grateful to have had such a friendship in my life.

with Bob & his lifelong friend Lisa dining at Blue Bayou in Disneyland almost 2 years ago