dream portrait

net sculpture by Megan Evans
photo by Estee Huff
reenvisiond by Wallace Colvard

50 years ago today

I shiverd in a frigid Ohio winter to observe Robert Smithson create "Partially Buried Woodshed."  the piece became part of my life.

Nancy Holt suggestd to Richard Martin that I write abt the piece for his Smithson issue of "Arts." my cover article in 1978 is probably my most read prose work. & my subsequent friendship with Martin was a blessing.

abt the same time I was filmd at the woodshed for the French tv series "L'Aventure de L'art Moderne." I have no idea if I'm in the finishd work.

I was also interviewd by a reporter from the New York Times abt the work. I was part of a symposium abt it sponsord by Kent's school of art. & I was at Mark Bloch's performance piece there.

in 2002 I found a pair of Old Navy boxers there. they are now part of my piece "Underwear in a Box."

Daily Kent Stater 1975

Lainard Bush photographd me at what's left of the piece in 2014

the new & the old

put on my new Skechers & went to the gym where I huggd Jack Farquhar Halbert in the shower

brewd Italian coffee from Gary Sielaff which I drank from the Sondheim mug I bought at Kennedy Center

took Aunt Mary's quilt off the bed whose sheets I changed

opend Julia Waida's cedar chest to take out an antique patchwork quilt my parents gave me

ate a Vosges cosmic truffle from Regina Yando

got a call from Bill Berger to alert me abt a tv show abt Eleanor Roosevelt

a curiosity

I was going thru the worn album which holds many of the smaller movie star photos I collectd as a child.

MGM sent pictures of their stars in envelopes. but Universal-International & others sent post card images instead of actual photographs.  I was checking the later to establish dates for the collection.

& that's how I found this. it's on the back of the postcard from Eddie Fisher who I don't remember liking all that much. he was one of the few recording stars in the album which explains why this was sent from the east coast.

besides the useful information from the postmark I'm amused by the signature of 10-year-old me. why I signd the back of the postcard is a mystery. but why I did such a fanciful signing is even stranger. but I find it a sweet look back at little Alex.

& to those who still look in on this site which I fear I've neglectd of late may I wish you a happy new year. a whole new decade.

let us keep on

it's been more than 3 decades since I met Tony Trigilio when he was a student at Kent. our circles overlapped in library & town. I remember us reading on campus together. & when he left we kept in touch. he was one of those whose work we chose to include in A Gathering of Poets. & I sent him one of my ties for the piece "Tie One On."

today he is a celebrated poet & writing teacher in Chicago where I last saw him for breakfast too many years ago.  & he has become famous for his series of poems based on the tv series "Dark Shadows."

I now have the third book of these poems -- Ghosts of the Upper Floor. & what an utter joy to find myself quoted in Tony's collection. of course I had to include this in Alex in Movieland. I love this layering or what Tony calls an accumulation. it's there in my long serial work & in his.

thank you old friend. & let us both keep on accumulating.

(from "Tie One On")

a century ago

"Male and Female" was released 100 years ago today. so I watchd it this morning. the star is Gloria Swanson. but the first and last person seen on screen is Lila Lee who is utterly captivating of the lovesick maid. her performance is fresh & charming. it lacks the histrionics some see as a hallmark of film acting of that period.

Lila Lee plays a significant role in my life. I was only 14 when I first met her. her sister Peg Tufford was a realtor in Elyria. she'd appeard on Broadway opposite Al Jolson & had a film or two in her past but never had the acclaim of her famous sister. when Lila came to visit I pesterd her abt her career. she was my first link to silent cinema -- which over the decades has held great significance to me.

Lila appears in my work. here she is in "Ely Park":

Lila Lee walks by
history of film on her fragile shoulders

she appears again at the end of Ohio Triangle in a memory from the time my parents invited her to dinner.

I have great affection for Lila. so it was essential that I spend this centennial seeing one of her sweetest performances. one that remains vibrant after a century. & one that people are still enjoying.

Peg gave me this Elmer Fryer portrait of her with Lila. it hangs in my guest bathroom.

at Lila's grave in Elyria

in my glass

"Children of Grass" is a collection of remarkable portraits of poets by B. A. Van Sise. I'm not in it. however this morning he sent me this photo he took yesterday. that's his reflection in the glass of my niche at Hollywood Forever.

I'm delightd that he took it & sent it to me. & how lovely to see all the lip prints. some friends find it macabre that I've set up my final resting place before that rest begins. however I'm completely enjoying the experience of seeing interaction with strangers. every lip print kisses my soul.

today's addition to "Alex in Movieland"

sees "Halloween" on Halloween

name change

when Terry Hastings & I were concocting this photo project I told him of my boyhood infatuation with Helen Morgan after seeing her portrayd by Polly Bergen on "Playhouse 90." so those old albums of mine found their way into the photo.

when I askd Terry for his title so I cd post he told me "My Man." at first that sounded fine since it had the allure of old-fashiond torch singers. but then a bit of checking showd me that Morgan didn't sing that song. I knew it was made famous by Fannie Brice. so I notified Terry of that & mentiond a couple of her hits which had "man" in the title. & last nite at his retropective in Palm Desert the actual print was unveild & I saw his final title -- "Can't Help Lovin' That Man."

in addition to seeing the actual print (& receiving my #1 of an edition of 5) in his slide lecture ("Decade in the Desert") there was this huge blow-up.

a thrilling evening.

"My Man" by Terry Hastings

this piece will be unveild at the Terry Hastings retrospective at University of California Riverside's Palm Desert campus this weekend

another piano

photographer Stephen Baumbach has coverd a piano with photographs he's taken over the years. & today he added a poem of mine. I went to his studio to sign it. the piano will be on display during Pride weekend here in 3 weeks.

my stunning life

(photo by Marconi Calindas)

I've had this long-time fantasy. I'm doing a nite club act in which I come out in a tux & feather boa & sit on a piano & sing.

yes. my singing career was over when I outgrew performing as a "boy soprano."

but one still has dreams.

today my dream came to as close to coming true as it ever will. Terry Hastings -- one of the best art photographers in the valley -- invited me to come to our dear friend Marconi Calindas' studio. there Marconi has paintd an upright piano which will be on display at Palm Springs Pride. I got into my tux & a boa I had. the latter wasn't as snazzy as those Helen Morgan used. but we're talking magic here. I made my way on top of the gayly paintd upright. it was hot under the professional lamps. but even with sweat & skinny boa I felt every bit the star.

I don't know what Terry will make from our shoot. but I trust his talent. & I'm loving every minute of my late-in-life career as a model. all lives have ups & downs. I no longer dwell on the downs. & this latest up is one more page in a biography I wdn't trade with anyone.

(photo by Marconi Calindas)

morning rarity: coffee in bed. from that came a poem. & even after my mind jogs. sun on courtyard reminds me of the one I designd for Santa Fe. joining of indoors & out.

the universe is here.

from Joel Singer's Men of Letters series

"Woman with Pink Umbrella"

she ambles thru Park Guell
her mind on bread

she can feel crunch of crust 
of pa de pages
can taste a bit of sobrassada
in pa de Sant Jordi

which to buy

"life is short" 
she thinks

so buy both

RIP Don Cauble

Dave Roskos has announced the death of the poet.

I never met Don & our correspondence was slight. but our names have appeard together over the decades.

I think we first were together in the pages of Sattvas Review back in 1969. & in more recent years we both had broadsides publishd by Costmary Press & 48th St. Press.

on the website for his novel Don quotes me.

he once sent me a fun photo of himself with Doug Blazek but I can't find it now.

some shoes last

in the late "60s I bought Warhol's "Autobiography of Alice B. Shoe" from New Gallery in Cleveland. it was stolen while I still lived in Twin Lakes. I've long suspectd the thief. it was one of the small sorrows of that period of my life. but it carried thruout because every time I saw another copy of the print in a show I became sad that I was robbed of the joy of living with it.

this morning I was cleaning the dining room & moved my small collection of shoe lasts. it brought back feelings of that loss. but now I try to live in joy. so I decided to do a series with my feet & the lasts.

they are all self portraits except for the full body shot (featuring Gary Sielaff's piece done from one of the lasts in my collection) which Estee Huff kindly took.

art as a liferaft in difficult times

"I read the news today, o boy..."

it's been one of those mornings. the photograph of Stephen Romero celebrating his 6th birthday with a chocolate cupcake totally undid me. after the tears I wrote a poem for him. but then there were more tears.

so much bad news we become numb to it. but we daren't.

often what gets me thru is art. my mood brightend a bit when I learnd of "Teetertotter Wall."  this piece was done thru the border wall that separates a city in New Mexico with one in Old Mexico. to see children on both sides playing together for a moment erases smirks from faces of evil folks in our government.

& to help me thru I tried to switch my energy to creation. I was happy to have written a poem this morning. & I began thinking how rich creation makes my life. & for me it extends beyond my own writing & art pieces. I love collaborating with other artists.

recent work with Emeline Tate fed my soul. & then something I haven't reveald.

Terry Hastings is a photographer whose work I admire. he's doing a major piece calld "The Planets."  it will be unveild in a few months. he askd me to model the role of Saturn. 

he took several dozen remarkable photographs. only one of me will be in the final work. I don't know which one it will be. I askd Terry if he'd allow me to pick one to share here. I'm not saying this is the best or my favorite but I feel it conveys the sense of the piece as I understand it.

& so I won't allow the monster in the White House & the cowards in Congress to daunt me. we all must live with purpose. we must make joy out of chaos. it is our responsibility to live the lives denied to the children who die in his cages or from bullets.

faces & places

my work is often abt connections & overlapping because that's what so much of my life is.

today has been strangely emotional because currents from my past have swum by me. in the afternoon a Facebook friend who I don't know postd some photos he had taken of Coral Sands in Hollywood. I've written of this place before. it's had a long history & a couple of names but I knew it as a gay play spot. recently a rich person bought the property & closed it. it's been gutted. the photos I saw today were haunting. the walls are there but little else.  altho some deride the motel as simply seedy there is a rich history from Divine living there & holding court to art installations in rooms which even David Hockney visitd.

after thinking abt Coral Sands I decided to check on someone I met there in 2008. his name is Mikel Padilla -- a costume designer for movies & tv.  even tho we aren't in touch I thot I'd notify him of the photos. but when I lookd him up I discoverd he died a couple of months ago.

our time together was brief but I have a vivid memory of him in sleek black underwear. he's simply one of thousands of faces that pass us all by. but his name wd come to me whenever I rememberd Coral Sands.

this evening it's too hot to be out so I sit in my study writing. I'm thinking of Mikel Padilla & the address so many dismiss as a dive on Western Ave. this is what history is. faces & places. & the stories we tell abt them.

an anniversary

Stonewall Inn opend in 1967. it was one of the only gay bars in NYC which allowd dancing.

& dancing was what I did with Jean-Claude van Itallie when we went there in oct 1968. 8 months later the riots happend.

that bar was actually 2 pieces of property -- 51 & 53 Christopher St. it closed after the riots. then it was split. the bar which now calls itself Stonewall startd in 1991 at 53 Christopher. none of the original interior remains.

in my poem "Swimmers Out of Water" I reference dancing with Jean-Claude at Stonewall.

to celebrate the 50th anniversary of the uprising I was happy to participate in Stacey Brooks' "Tutu: A Year of Pride." he spent a year photographing men & women wearing rainbow tutus to commemorate this anniversary.