like the old days

so much of what I publish is online that the appearance of a print magzine is rare.

from Tony Trigilio in today's mail came a copy of the new issue of Court Green. the dossier section is on the 1970s. not only does it include a hay(na)ku of mine but also "Two Poems Written in April, 1970" by my professor & friend Jacob Leed. & a reprint of "The Day the Audience Walked Out on Me, and Why." Denise Levertov wrote that poem after a phone call from me. I originally publishd it in the 1971 portfolio Six Poems / Seven Prints & reprintd it in the 1992 anthology A Gathering of Poets. my co-editor on that last project was Maggie Anderson who also has a poem in this section.

cactus under snow

up

at 6 (which because of the goddamnd time change is really 5) & into the white to dig out from our newest snowdump.

guess what?

it's snowing again.

e-mail

something goofy is going on with my ISP & I'm currently unable to use mail.

more memories

Todd & Barbara (with Mark Weber) on their 1st visit to my house (july 1994)


Todd -- author of Dillinger -- with John Ericson -- who once playd Pretty Boy Floyd. at one of my xmas gatherings.

my plan for today

was to see "Alice in Wonderland." then I got the phone call from Jason Moore with the terrible news abt his father. didn't feel like the movies.

however I rememberd at our last lunch Todd & I had a lively conversation abt Johnny Depp -- an actor we both admire. Todd loved the movies as much as I do. so I went.

Todd Moore (1937-2010)

as he appears in Tie One On

so weary of this winter

even walking to the gym is a chore. like being back in Ohio.

dream of a high school classmate appearing on the cover of a book is interruptd. it seems it's time to awake. I lift the shade & outside is snow. white draped on my backyard like the black mantilla on Lila Lee in one of my favorite movie stills. I struggle into clothes & leave the house. a few doors down Rita has shoveld her way free. her dog Cinco runs to meet me. I finish the small patch of driveway she left. inside I flip on the news. another young actor dead of an overdose. cereal & coffee. call to Mom who reports a beautiful day in Elyria.

I've made the decision to be lazy & not trek to the gym. instead I'll write checks for bills. the grocery store is near. they have a sale on strawberries. I think strawberries will keep my mind off a winter I want so badly to expire.

think I'll run for Congress

so I can take showers with Rahm Emmanuel

neighborhood watch

spent the evening at city hall meeting with reps from local law enforcement

Paul Metcalf (1917-1999)

someone needs to begin a biography of this important writer while the people who knew him are still alive.

to keep the flame aglow I've begun a fan page for him on Facebook.

I used to be

the world's biggest awards junkie.

it startd when I was a kid. Mom let me take a nap after school so I cd stay up to watch Judy Garland win the Academy Award at the 1955 ceremony. she lost. that shd've told me something. but I was too young & didn't understand politics & commerce & the other things that shape awards. I was so young I thot they were abt art & talent.

in the ensuing decades I watchd every award show on tv. I went to the Tonys twice & the Grammys twice. & in 1981 I walkd the red carpet at Dorothy Chandler Pavillion & was there when Spacek & DeNiro took home the gold.

I can't pinpoint when I began to sour abt awards. I suspect it's all part of aging. we look deep & feel deeper. things that were important become less so. & things we take for grantd become precious.

along the way I had to wonder why the academy faild to give its best director statuette to Hitchcock or Altman   why the Pulitzer people bypassd Frank O'Hara   why the Nobel never went to Tennessee Williams.

I admit I still reluctantly tune in to several award broadcasts. am I looking for cheap entertainment or a return to my youth? for the most part they turn my stomach. even after I dismissd the Oscars as the crap they are I felt the Independent Spirit Awards had some integrity & a fun presentation. yesterday's broadcast was so dismal. a bunch of drunks in a room saying whatever tumbld from their caws.

yes I'll watch the Oscars tomorrow. it's like a train wreck. but the academy's decision to increase the best picture noms to 10 was such a blatant move to make more money. however one must reflect that these awards were inventd to boost box office. they have never been abt art or talent. just ask Judy Garland or Hitchcock or Altman.

& yes I'm getting older. awards in any field have no consequence for me anymore.

up side down outlaw

thx to Klaus for posting my new poem.

Pope Jane with the Gentlemen of Her Holiness

another quiet day

nothing unusual happening.

another married politician who votes against gay issues bustd for DUI after leaving a gay bar.

the holier-than-thou Vatican involvd in a gay prostitution scandal.

hypocrisy lies heavy on the land. so it always has & so it always will be.

interview

Tom Beckett's interview with me is getting another look.

got thru

the 2nd anniversary of Dad's death. then this morning I crossd the arroyo to the middle school to vote for mayor. leaving the school I saw a father dropping off his son. my mind went back decades & suddenly tears streamd down my face.

excerpt from a 1976 letter to Tom Meyer

SCENES FROM THE BABY PICNIC

        The inevitable outcome of marriage is babies!
        Lewis Warsh (1969)

little Anne Byrd pissing on the Metcalfs' livingroom rug & later attacking Regan Bertolette

Paul pitching a softball to Clark Coolidge who slams it past Lewis Warsh

Peter Bertolette -- lost in a pair of Paul's trunks -- swimming in the pond across the road

Sheila Granda outremembering me by naming what Paul & Nancy & I had just finished for lunch that time we first met

Bernadette Mayer breastfeeding Marie

Cecily Coolidge wondering out loud why I'm teasing her & David [Meredith] later telling her two men at the party had fallen in love with her