the Reno experience

it startd well. Riverwalk is lovely. the art museum is exciting as architecture & had a fine exhibition. then came the National Automobile Museum which featured several oldies made in Cleveland as well as the Mercury James Dean drove in "Rebel Without a Cause." however the main part of The Biggest Little City in the World is a mess. there are signs of recovery but that looks some time away.

we were lucky to end the week well. near the art museum is an establishment calld Chocolate Bar. serving both drinks & desserts   it's attractively designd. our young waiter was attentive & easy on the eyes.


/ 

the week that was

the best part was celebrating friendship. to know -- & still like -- someone for 4 decades is a gift.

Billy & I stayd at a disappointing resort in Sparks. it was between the marina & Victorian Square. the town isn't much. it runs over into Reno which is rather bleak as well (altho it does have a lovely new art museum where he saw an exciting exhibition of chairs).

the side trips made the vacation. in Carson City we rode a steam engine train & heard a Kent State grad at the jazz festival. in Truckee we stoppd at 3 bakeries. in Virginia City we took pix of the wonderful old buildings. we meanderd around Squaw Valley & lookd deep into the blue of Lake Tahoe.

Mark Twain's ghost was everywhere. he wrote abt the lake. his brother had a handsome house in Carson City. & as a young man he was a journalist in Virginia City where this picture was taken:


, 

& so summer ends

lunching with Billy at Blue Onion Cafe in Kings Beach 

Billy

I met William E. A. Berger 40 years ago this month.

we're both flying to Reno today for a celebratory week in the Lake Tahoe region.

ubiquitous Betty

"Her pictures collect in the shadows. They are everywhere."

thus begins RJ Smith's "Living with the Black Dahlia: the murder that changed Los Angeles" in the LA Magazine which arrivd yesterday.

then last nite I went to the Lensic to see Fiona Shaw in a program of Yeats & Eliot & Beckett. her newest movie is "The Black Dahlia" based on the novel by James Ellroy. one of my coups while special collections curator at Kent State was to purchase the ms of that famous novel.

Shimmerplanet

the last time I saw Soren Anders was at my reading at Bowery Poetry Club. he hadn't become a blond yet & was still using his real name John Fischer. but he already was exhibiting great talent as singer & songwriter. & while reading I cdn't look at him too long for fear of flubbing every line because he's so damnd adorable.

he just sent news that Shimmerplanet's new CD For the One Who Kills Tomorrow will have a release party at emPower Fitness at 7th Ave S & Christopher on 12 sept. so if you live in NYC & care abt music &/or goodlooking men pop on over.

enuf of the freaks

I can live a perfectly grand life without ever again hearing or seeing the pedaphile or the Scientologist. why the networks continue to lead off their news broadcasts with those two is beyond me. why aren't they digging into President Worst Ever's continual lawbreaking? or global warming? or anything else that matters.

preview of coming attractions

while I was busy with my cousin Richard Lopez sent me the draft of his chapbook Super8. this morning is the first chance I've had to read it.

at first the poems seemd raw. but then I understood that he's attempting to give them the look & feel of those long-ago porn loops that were a staple of stag & frat parties.

his artfulness is making the poems look artless. but of course they're anything but. there are hidden rimes & tight images. & then there's the tantalizing issue of narrator: is this Lopez remembering? is this Klaw directing Bettie Page? is this frat boy sliding beer can over crotch?

I'm not sure when this chap will hit the stands but look out for it. & hold tightly.

EHS Class of '61

I've never been to a class reunion. the 45th was 10 days ago. I just receivd the program booklet which gives bios of class members.

amazingly 51 of my high school classmates are dead. of those of us still breathing   one has had a heart transplant & many are cancer survivors.

Iraq

President Worst Ever's war there has now lastd longer than US involvement in WW2.

2 weeks with Regina

11 restaurant meals
6 concerts
5 operas
2 visits to flea market
2 visits to Indian Market
1 pueblo feast day
1 movie

my bolo

, 

it's Regina's last nite. so we got dressd up & went to town for a concert & dinner. but first we did one last stroll thru Indian Market. we stoppd again at the booth of Kenneth Johnson because (a) he's a fine artist (b) he's a gorgeous man (c) he's outgoing & humorous.

I was wearing the bolo I commissiond Diane Tintor to make some years ago. she usually uses garnets but I had a fine piece of jade. it was supposd to be for a ring but I never found the appropriate jewelry maker. however I liked Diane's work & askd her to try. the result is stunning.

Kenneth immediately saw it & admird its craftsmanship & askd who creatd it. that made me feel good.

Indian Market

jewelry maker Kenneth Johnson 

sputtering

been averaging abt 6 hours of sleep per nite. & my daytime sked is that of a teen. my cousin's energy level amazes me.

a zing & a kick

Regina & I went to Madrid -- birthplace of Mae Marsh -- so she cd look at jewelry & rugs. while there we had a savory treat: red chili chocolate cake. I wd never have thot to put pepper in a cake but what a blast.

noon concert

I went to hear Gary Graffman who does more with one hand than some pianists do with both. & it was a good experience.

he shared the program with one of his students. I was enchantd with Yuja Wang as soon as the 19 y/o came on stage. she's tiny & gorgeous. she wore a drop-dead black gown with subtle rose piping. Wang began with a Haydn sonata which immediately reveald we were in the presence of a superb musician. she then playd Stravinsky's "3 Movements from Petrouchka" & I thot I'd swoon. mastery & passion combind. this is an artist whose career must be followd. look for her.

"Carmen"

I've heard it more than any opera. but then it's the most producd opera ever.

the current SFO production has been controversial because it lacks the usual bombast. reset in Franco's Spain this version features Anne Sofie von Otter in a reinterpretation of the role. she looks as much like our notion of Carmen as Lillian Gish. when she comes out in pink rather than the traditional red we get a hint that this won't be the outwardly incendiary vixen we usually see. von Otter gives a complex & psychological performance.

at first I was bored with this mounting of the Bizet. & there are directorial missteps. but by the time the stark ending comes it's most compeling.

downpour

we go months sans rain. then there is last nite.

we were at the opera when the rain began. & it was hard. people scurried from the seats nearest the open sides of the auditorium. & it was hard. driving home was a chore.

today is overcast & there's a chance for more rain all week.

at Embudo Station

between the flea market & feast day at Santa Clara Pueblo   Regina & I had lunch on the banks of the Rio Grande:


/ 

abuntu

because of a sick cat & bad dreams abt Dad I had a sleepless nite.

so it was lovely to turn on the computer & receive this African word from Bob Barnes. I met Bob in a chat room some 7 years ago. altho we've yet to meet face-to-face   we're fervent penpals exchanging numerous e's per day. today he wrote abt encountering this word which means I am because we are.

apparently Mr. Rogers discoverd the word & wrote to his penpal "My identity is such that it includes you and that I would be a very different person without you".

Bob wrote "I really liked the concept of abuntu and thought of
you when I read that." such kindness from Bob eases my difficult morning & makes me want to walk thru the day.

the timelessness of art

within an hour we heard Cuarteto Casals play a Boccherini piece from 1798 followd by Real Quiet do Gosfield's "Wild Pitch" (2004). & it workd...

yesterday

Regina & I were at the factory outlets & I had to stop in the Jockey store to celebrate the "holiday" by buying a pair of gray poco briefs.

at nite we went to out first opera of the season -- a shimmering "Cinderella" with Joyce DiDonato who is radiant of voice & visage.

national underwear day

holidays seem to have startd as religious observances. but then commerce took over. one industry after another found it lucrative to have a holiday which pushd its product.

today's "holiday" is blatant. but I'm an old underwear aficionado so I'm observing it. rather than post the picture taken of me at Skivies Cafe on my last visit to Palm Springs   I'm offering a peak at a work-in-progress. "Underwear in a Box" -- like "2 jars"-- comes with documentation but for now I'm presenting simply the visual.


/ 

scrubathon

frantic last minute housecleaning.

my cousin Regina arrives from Boston this afternoon for her annual summer opera visit. this is SFO's 50th anniversary. so we're seeing all 5 productions in the next 2 weeks.

lots of pep in those peplums

Garbo is staring off the envelope that just arrivd from Culver City where she made most of her movies. my friend Billy lives there now & in the envelope was an article from the LA Times abt a new exhibition "Beefcake Babylon."



if you've been reading this for a while you know of my fondness for Richard Harrison. I'm not sure if he's representd in the show but of course Steve Reeves is. he's by far the king of the sword & sandal genre.

documenting perfpo

Russell Salamon sent me this & I'm passing it on:

I am a writer and performer and am pursuing my PhD in theatre at the University of Minnesota. My dissertation is going to be on spoken word, politics and the literary avant garde and I'm beginning to do preliminary research. I've joined quite a few spoken word lists to keep up with what's going on around the country. I'm writing to the list to ask for two forms of participation.

1. Thus far, the history of spoken word and performed poetry is very lopsided toward New York and Chicago. My own "official" history for my dissertation may also lean on those two cities, but as part of my research I would like to build an archive that includes histories from around the country and want to acknowledge that there have been active communities in other places for quite some time. I would like to invite you, singularly or as a group, to send me a history of spoken word in your community as far back as you can go. This means venues, years, who did what when, and some kind of flavor of the performances. When did slams start? Did that change the nature of the reading/performing community? Did it create one where there was not much before or something dormant? What kinds of performance, experimentations, collaborations, etc. where going on? What other influences were there (theatre, rock and roll, punk, dance, Dada, roller derby, skeet shooting, etc.)? I'm looking for communal histories rather than anyone's personal stories, except insofar as those stories are woven into the community.

2. I'm looking for people interested in doing an online interview with me, possibly through IM conversations or a Yahoogroups chatroom. This is your chance to tell YOUR individual story, aesthetic,
etc.

Please write me at fluffysingler@earthlink.net for either. There's no huge hurry with the histories--take your time and tell it completely. But I would appreciate hearing from people that are intending to embark on this. And credit will be given to the writers of the histories--both in the archive, and in anything that I cite.

Thanks!

Laura Winton

on the streets of

some time ago I wrote abt the joy of seeing old movies shot in Manhattan. then I concentratd on landmarks & how they change.

another great aspect of such location shooting is a chance to watch esteemd members of the theater community in small parts. to see Sudie Bond or Judith Lowry or Margo Martindale suddenly appear is as exciting to me as spotting Percy Helton or Bess Flowers in Hollywood products.

tonite I saw "Extreme Measures." now this one cheats. it's supposd to take place in NYC. & some of it was filmd there. but parts (I presume interiors) were done in Toronto. however there are some wonderful theater folk in the cast. Peter Maloney has a striking bit. so does John Heffernan. neither of these actors are huge stars but both have had long & distinguishd careers on the boards. so it was a thrill to see them.

T. R. Queen

today is the birthday of my friend Tom who died in 2002.



this picture was taken in Elyria the summer before he flunkd out of Kent State. I'd won the Freshman Writing Award. Tom then honord me with his own Wanderlush Award. it was named after Gloria Wanderlush   the heroine of one of his novels. this particular one was a spoof of Butterfield 8.

Tom & I were friends for an astounding 50 years. we met at Garford Elementary School & last saw each other at the Las Vegas airport weeks before his unexpectd death.

he was the funniest person I ever knew. we wd laugh till there were tears.

he gave up writing early on   painting too   & concentratd on collage & montage. he won numerous awards & if memory serves had work appear in an early issue of The Advocate. in 1981 I threw a party to mark James Dean's 50th birthday. unable to make the long flight from Nevada to Ohio   Tom sent me this tondo:


"Alex Gildzen, James Dean and the Vanilla Angel" 

butts

Bill Reed is auctioning a Bette Davis cigaret butt on ebay.

reminds me of the time I saved Sam Fuller's cigar butt & sent it to Ira Joel Haber.

a Basque blast

savoring coffee this ayem that I bought at the Basque Market   I want to thank my Boise hosts Jeff & Sam.

& a couple of suggestions for those going in that direction. the Boise Art Museum has a splendid ceramics collection. some former Santa Feans produce delectables at The Chocolate Bar. & the lobby of the Capitol will make marble fans dizzy.

o boise

. 

too short a visit to identify the Idahoness of Idaho. esp since I was only in Boise. but I did fall in love.

the former Union Pacific depot is a gem. designd by Carrere & Hastings   it opend in 1925. Amtrak no longer stops there so I hope the city continues to care for it. the depot's location yields the best view of downtown. unfortunately the city allowd skyscrapers to be built which compromise the scale of the Capitol. but I don't want to carp. the depot itself is a wonder. & the gardens in front make the space as oasis.


, 

my own private Idaho

off to Boise for a few days

Otolith 2

still basking in receipt of print copy of premiere issue of Otolith when Mark Young sends glad news that issue 2 is up.

must leave in a bit for airport so no time to read it. but what joy to see visual work by my old buddy Ira Joel Haber.

"Body Parts"

it all startd here.

a year ago I saw the film "Troy" & was so dazzld by Brad Pitt's physique that I wrote a poem. I mentiond that in my blog entry "thigh candy."
if you return to that entry you'll see that Richard Lopez suggestd I write "Johnny Depp's Eyes." soon I had a small chapbook Body Parts.

the fabulous Andrew Lundwall has just put up the first issue of his new e-zine Melancholia's Tremulous Dreadlocks. & in it is Body Parts. so my thx to Richard for his suggestion & to Moi for his constant encouragement & to Andrew for his guts.

music men in town

Thomas Ades (whose opera of "The Tempest" opens tonite) 


McCoy Tyner (who plays the Lensic tonite) 

a sad tale

when I moved to Santa Fe a tv series calld "Earth 2" was being shot here. that first fall the cast participatd in a basketball game as a fundraiser. I went to see Antonio Sabato Jr. & chattd with the fabulous Virginia Madsen with whom he lived at the time.

one of the cast members there was a girl by the name of J. Madison Wright who playd Clancy Brown's daughter on the series. over the years I'd forgotten abt her. but in today's LA Times I learnd that she had a heart transplant at Cleveland Clinic when she was 15. last month she was married. the day after returning from her honeymoon she had a heart attack & died. next month she was going to begin a new career as a high school English teacher.

here she is boys...

I met Jill Sobule 6 years ago when she performd here with Warren Zevon. I like her voice.

last nite I saw another dimension of her. in the film "Mind the Gap" she not only sings but acts. & she's terrific enough to want to see her tackle more movies.

we all need friends

what a sweet surprise to receive in the mail today a handmade book from Ira Joel. it's calld Cheering Up Alex & is in "a very limited edition of 1." the contents are xeroxes of Haber drawings from the '70s including his cloud studies.

a coiffure for the ages

Jean Vengua postd a painting by Otto Dix. for decades I've had a late lithograph of his on my walls.

back in the '70s Ferdinand Roten Galleries came to the university & set up tables of prints for sale. I don't recall how much I paid for the Dix but I was immediately attractd to it & have never lost my love of his masterful making of the model's hair.


"Portrait of a Girl" (1966) 

"the ranger who told all about Anais Nin's wild life"

that's the headline on Elaine Woo's lively obit of Rupert Pole in today's LA Times.

wonder how many screenplays that generates.

La Meringue

some of you have askd why I haven't mentiond Cuppa in a while. I was hoping no one wd notice. you see the poor thing is recovering from corrective ----- errrr------- elective surgery. & her poor face is still bruisd. so she won't be seen in public. but she promises a festive unveiling as soon as possible.

in the movies

in "The Mandarin Mystery" (1936) dear Franklin Pangborn faints 3 times.

of Phil Andros & other matters

today is the birthday of Samuel M. Steward (1909-1993) who I was lucky enough to meet in 1982. when I turnd 50 he wishd me "a future without doctors or lawyers intruding."

he was on my mind when I read the blog of another sexual adventurer from the Bay area who writes under a psuedonym. altho I didn't meet Jared Christopher I "observd" him completely naked & scandalous in Palm Springs last month. his current post addresses getting old as a gay man.

watching Dad falter naturally makes me think of what will happen to me if I have the misfortune of living into my 80s.

Jared -- if you're frightend now just wait several more decades. don't believe the AARP propaganda. getting old may be the scariest thing that happens to us.

R.I.P. Mike Carver

my cousin Sal pickd me up yesterday morning & drove me to the airport. he'd been up late caring for his ailing roommate Mike.

I learnd last nite that when he returnd home from the airport he found Mike dead.

heartbreaking time

Dad's decline continues to dispirit me. but the family soldiers on.


finding a new way to tend eggplant 

off to Elyria

for an early celebration of Dad's 88th

President Worst Ever

the most e-maild article currently at the LA Times:

"Is Bush Still Too Dumb to be President?"

homes of the stars

Jim Parish sent me a link to a silent screen site which includes a feature on stars' homes. one is of the manse of Lila Lee & James Kirkwood. the background photo is a charming family portrait of the pair with their young son Jimmy. he's the lad who grew up to write such bestsellers as There Must Be a Pony & Good Times/Bad Times.

also on the site are the onetime homes of my friends Lois Wilson & May McAvoy. seeing them brought back memories of the time I had lunch at the Beverly Hills Brown Derby with the actresses. May drove me back to the Chateau Marmont via the side streets of BH where she pointd out all the oldtime stars homes.

AUDEN AFRAID TO NAME GARBO

in 1972 I creatd that headline in The Year Book. I recall having read that W.H. felt topical references cdn't last. at the time I wonderd if perhaps the Swedish star mite be rememberd longer than the poet.

in yesterday's mail I rec'd the 3rd issue of Court Green. it's dossier section is a grouping of bouts-rime poems. that form inventd in the 17th century by forgotten French poet Dulot is a game in which people are given specific end words. one of the 14 given words is Garbo. so we have this splendid collection of poems from the likes of Shanna Compton & Brad Gooch.

I haven't read thru the entire section yet. but if you're thinking that such a game is frivolous then read Dorianne Laux's "For Matthew Shepard."

"pennies from heaven"

. 

another project:

I'm not a big celebrator of Xmas but in 2000 a friend suggestd dinner. but she didn't offer to pick me up. so I walkd in the cold the 50 minutes to town. I guess I was feeling a bit dejectd so I was looking down instead of out & around. as I was crossing Sandoval St I spottd a penny. it's been sd picking up a penny is good luck so I did. but this one was the start of a new piece.

I found a coin collector's album & keep found pennies from my trips with notation of where & when. so far I have 84 pennies.

"the book of java"

/ 

I began this project in the last month of 2000. they are coffee stains from my travels. so far there are 76 entries.

fan flesh

Ken Ericson once ran a leather bar in Silverlake calld The Gauntlet. now he lives in South Dakota. on the last nite of my stay at Camp Michael there was a birthday party to which he came. it's impossible to miss his tattoos. I askd him if I cd photograph the most intriguing.

in 1935 Carol Borland playd Bela Lugosi's daughter in Tod Browning's "Mark of the Vampire." altho the scream queen did a few other pictures this is her claim to fame. Ericson got to know her in her final decade & had this tatt done. he sd that she approvd.


, 

Black Hills

it was a quick trip but I packd in the miles. so I feel I have a good overview of that part of the state. for me the highlight was Mt Rushmore. we all know what it looks like but until you've seen it   walkd under it   you can't realize the power of the work. monumental sculpture indeed.

my host   Michael Fish   kindly took me across the Wyoming border. another state crossd off the list. I know   I know. I didn't even spend the nite. I plan on doing the parks of Wyoming one day. promise. but technically I have been in the state. so that leaves but 3: Idaho   which I'll visit next month   then Montana & North Dakota   perhaps next year.


at Spearfish Falls 

getting head

/ 

crossing off states

when I returnd from Hawaii 2 years ago I lookd at a map & discoverd I'd been to 45 states. so I made a vow to travel to the remaining five.

before Dad's hospitalization I made reservations to go to South Dakota & Idaho. since I'm returning to Ohio in a week & a half I decid'd to go ahead with the other weekend trips. so today I'm flying to Rapid City.

hay(news)ku

Ken
was not
a good Lay

Independence Day

, 

2 of my favorite American experiences involve standing in line: voting & Pancakes on the Plaza on the 4th of july.

many people like to vote absentee but I love the sense of community of standing in line with my neighbors to vote. & the pancake breakfast on the 4th is also a wonderful example of Americana.

today neighbor Phil & I went to town. we encounterd several of his cousins as well as our New Orleans friends Ray Ruiz & Kim Pedersen.


actor Dan Gerrity 

/ 

"Carnival of Souls"

in the past month 2 bloggers I follow -- Richard Lopez & Bill Reed -- independently wrote abt Herk Harvey's 1962 film. so last nite I gave it a look-see.

it's obvious that it was made quickly & cheaply. but it deserves its cult reputation because of its visual quality. we know that Harvey was an admirer of Fellini but he must have studied Hitchcock & Welles too.

I kept having thots of Smithson while watching it. & reading abt the history of the film afterward I learnd that Saltair -- the Utah carnival location -- apparently sunk into the water.

Haber paintings

if you've always wantd an Ira Joel Haber original in yr collection   here's yr chance. a group of choice paintings -- mostly from the '70s & '80s -- are now available online.

remembering a friend

I was "organizing" yesterday & came across a letter written nearly 9 years ago by Richard Martin. it was a shock because I left Richard's hundreds of letters with my papers at Kent State before moving here & after his death in 1999 at the age of 52 sent the remaining letters there. this one was never filed & got "lost." he wrote abt giving his last interview following the murder of Versace & going to see a movie: "I knew I wanted to affirm life in some basic way."

I began my correspondence with Richard in the summer of 1977 when he was editor of Arts. he was doing a Smithson issue & Nancy Holt suggestd to him that I write abt "Partially Buried Woodshed." we didn't meet till 1981 in Cleveland during a costume conference. he was representing FIT & I was helping set up the costume museum at KSU.

my admiration for him as art critic & scholar of fashion history was matchd by my delight in sharing our lives. we often wrote several letters a day to each other & on the phone we giggld like school girls. our attempt at romance never quite workd -- partly because of the distance between us & partly because being buddies seemd more permanent than being lovers.

I miss Richard. & when I saw his familiar writing of my name on that envelope yesterday I became teary. but I was lucky because I had as much time with him as I did.



with Richard in spring of 1990 in Kent

Chatelaine update

Eileen fleshes out the saga of the blog that went pufffffffffft in the nite.

vanishing blogs

poet bloggers are abuzz this morning abt the disappearance of Eileen Tabios' blog.

as a former special collections librarian I wonder why some savvy person in that field doesn't make the blogs of poets a specialty. certainly there must be a way to preserve blogs for future study. it seems to me that the increase of poets who are blogging & the importance of what this is doing to the art will need to be examind. & if the documents themselves disappear how will this happen?

Marsden Hartley

his Hart Crane painting currently is in Santa Fe.

his sauna painting is in Santa Fe.

I can't tell you what emotions came over me as I lookd again at these powerful paintings -- so personal to me -- right here in my town.

Hartley is important to me for many reasons. he died the year I was born. he lived in Cleveland & Provincetown & Santa Fe -- all touchstone cities for me. he knew Crane. & it goes on & on.

getting lost in the paintings I forgot abt Dad's decline. I forgot abt my own aging. I forgot abt the war & President Worst Ever. I forgot abt all the hate in the world. I was naked among other naked men in a safe place where there was no time.

a bitch slap to come?

Cuppa never forgave Aaron Spelling for divorcing Carolyn Jones. but she's also a major fan of trash tv. & the schlockmeister producd more crappy tv than anyone in history. so she's contemplating throwing a "Dynasty" party in his memory. guests will have to come as their favorite character.

naturally La Meringue will be Crystal. she sort of looks slike Joan Collins. well Collins on the Potatot Diet (mashd potatoes for lunch   french fries for dinner   sweet potato pie before bed).

I haven't done drag since Susan Kirby's Halloween party when I was 12 but I was thinking maybe Barbara Stanwyck as Constance Colby?

I just pity whoever comes as Linda Evans. Cuppa's apartment building does have a pool & she's what I'd call formidable.

in the movies

Calvin Lockhart in a pink turtleneck

another centennial

on Dad's last nite in hospital Mom & I were unwinding at the house before bed. she wantd a hot fudge sundae. I sd we didn't have sauce. she sd she still had a jar of C.C. Brown's hot fudge sauce I'd sent years ago squirreld away. when I pulld it out of its hiding place I saw on its sticker that C.C. Brown's began in 1906.

it was first locatd in downtown LA where Brown inventd the hot fudge sundae in 1922. it movd to 7007 Hollywood Blvd in 1929 & soon became the ice cream fountain of the stars. it was a fave of Joan Crawford & Kate Hepburn as well as a pair of my particular Hollywood icons Elizabeth Short & James Dean. I first went there abt 30 years ago. in mar 85 I was interviewd while pouring the famous sauce from its cruet onto the sundae by a USC student. I have no idea if that doc was ever finishd or still exists but wd love to see it. the place closed in 1996 but a smaller version opend a few years ago next to the new Schwab's in Hollywood. that experiment didn't last long. however the sauce is still made & can be purchasd online.

I'm raw.

it's not going well.

I'm not yet ready to write abt the pain.

I'm back after a harrowing experience. Dad had a minor stoke with some bad complications.

thx

before leaving for the airport I wish to express my appreciation to all who calld or wrote. the internet community is a real & vibrant one for me.

I don't have a laptop. if all goes well I'll be back thur nite & will report then.

update

encouraging news as I pack. Dad's having a much better day today.