08 October 2018

stop the rallies

the "president" is opposed by two thirds of the citizenry & the majority of editorial boards. his ego is tender. he must go to his base for these events at which he spews lies & rants like Hitler.

these events aren't to present policy. they are purely ego massage. I've been told each one costs nearly a half million dollars to put on. if reports are correct some in the crowd are paid.

there is no reason for taxpayers to put up with this. clearly these are political events. they must be paid for by the Republican party. if Congress weren't controlld by that party they cd stop payment. here is another reason to vote blue next month. it's time to halt the madness.

07 October 2018

on the rocks

wearing Sondheim
at Cahuilla Teewwenet Vista Point

(photo by Estee Huff)

06 October 2018

"Unfolding Humanity"

a Burning Man project transferd to Balboa Park in San Diego for Maker Faire

30 September 2018

in these dark times

each of us must find our own light in order to survive. when I get depressd I write or swim or see a film. & lately I have a new life as a model. strangely since my 75th birthday photographers have been getting me out of my clothes. there have been memorable shoots with Eric Schwabel & Tyler Alpern. & yesterday Mud Baron joind my list.

he is famous for photographing people with flowers. yesterday he set up shop at Ocotillo Lodge -- one of the locations for the Troy Donahue film "Palm Springs Weekend" & a property once ownd by Gene Autry whose guests have included JFK & Marilyn as well as Betty Grable & Doris Day. Mud put together a gathering of male models for "Boy Bloom." altho it's uncertain abt the fate of this project it may end up as a charity calendar.

as soon as I slippd off my pants Mud askd me to unfold myself on a bed of flowers beside local realtor Will Paine. "put yr head on his left nipple" he instructd.  then Arizona masseur  Bryce Hansen was askd to put his head on Will's right nipple.

after this it was time for my solo shot. during that Mud made this little video which I didn't know was being filmd.

28 September 2018

the rape of a nation

the world is laughing at us but assault isn't funny.

this obese man with paintd face & grotesque hair grabs us by the genitals & won't let go.

the legitimacy of his office is suspect but he plows on. he has the opposite of the Midas touch. everything golden that his little hands finger tarnishes.

he plunders our coffers & gives power to his evil spawn. he surrounds himself with venal sycophants who poison the environment for personal gain & put children in cages & mock education & lie. now he seeks to elevate to our highest court an intemperate judge who obfuscates & screams conspiracy while our Congress of cowards applauds. in 2 years he has creatd such damage that it will not be fixd in my lifetime.

everyday -- almost every hour -- his ego & ignorance bring a new crisis.

& what way out of this morass? a ravishd nation cowers in a lockd bathroom waiting for a stairway to freedom.

24 September 2018

Cinema Diverse

another Palm Springs gay film festival under my belt. this time I went to 12 screenings in 3 days & a nite.

my faves:
narrative feature -- "Devil's Path"
doc (tie) -- "Every Act of Life" & "Dirty Sexy Comics"
guilty pleasure -- "Still Waiting in the Wings"

"Devil's Path" team : Stephen Twordokus / Matthew Montgomery / Steve Callahan / JD Scalzo / Jon Gale

Jon Macy ("Dirty Sexy Comics") making a drawing in my copy of one of his books

with Lee Meriwether ("Still Waiting in the Wings")

28 August 2018

Craig Stephens (1944-2018)

altho I haven't seen Craig in years news of his death shakes me.

he was a beautiful 20 year-old when I first got to know him. there was a period when we spent a great deal of time together.  endless discussions abt politics & life. on campus & in the bars of Kent. we even double-dated once.

I workd hard for his election as student body president at Kent State. & after he won I served in his cabinet as Secretary of Communications. I felt as close to him then as I did to anyone.

we all expectd greatness from Craig. to me he had that Kennedy vibe. as happens in life we went in different directions.  he got a law degree & served his community & state with distinction.

in whatever time I have left I will always remember him with affection.

26 August 2018

"Michael's Momentum"

sooooooooo...... a new series. & this is the background:

last month my friend of so many years Michael Pierce gave me my correspondence to him & other personal artifacts. he also askd if I'd like some items he's had for years -- knowing that from time to time I create collages & other oddities. 

so I had a dozen pre-stampd envelopes from I think the 1930s.

this morning I took a copy of the Blossom Center issue of the Kent State publication Momentum that I edited in summer of 1970 & cut out some images which I glued to the envelopes.

then I took some colord pens from a gift bag I recently won in Backstreet Art District's scavenger hunt. I scribbled happily. & here's what happend.

21 August 2018

12 August 2018

winning streak

the Eric Schwabel photo on the billboard is now showing up in other Spotlight 29 promotions. this is from the casino's website where it alternates with Brennan Mejia (aka Red Ranger) "riding" a slot machine.

11 August 2018

in & around San Diego

La Jolla  

with Robert Hansen

Estee Huff at Hotel Del Coronado

dessert at 1500 Ocean

05 August 2018

40 year old letter to Michael Pierce

      68 Jane st.
      22 nov 78

dear Michael --
I'm sitting before a small window in Jean-Claude's study which looks out at the twin towers of the World Trade Center. it's just past 5 & dark already so the towers are lit up. I arrived last nite & walked right into a problem. Jean-Claude's pipes are leaking so the people in the apartment below him shut off the water. you can imagine how lovely that is for me in this dirty city. o well   a plumber's supposed to come soon & the guy whose ceiling is stained with J-C's water said he thought it's all right to turn on the water for about 5 minutes once a day. so.... I'm clean right now from the quickest shower you can ever imagine. last nite after I got over the dis-ease of being waterless I went to Reno Sweeney's to see Gotham & this afternoon I caught John Curry's great ice show. he took a spill in the first dance but is till a fine artist & with all the tricky choreography I'm surprised he only fell once.  "Afternoon of the Faun" closes the show & is a beautiful piece in which Curry's at his best. my flight is United 803 & I leave LaGuardia at 4 pm monday the 27th. hope to see you at the airport around 5. if you don't greet me at the gate with flowers I'll walk down to the pick-up place downstairs & wait for you outside.


04 August 2018

old valentines

there were many special moments in my Ohio visit. one was at the home of painter Lainard Bush. our mutual friend Michael Pierce showd up with a handful of bundles. in them were correspondence & other things I'd sent him over the decades. he wantd me to have them back. that is a lovely & generous gift.

he brought so much I cdn't fit everything in the single bag I take when flying. so he ran off to mail them & they arrived in Palm Springs before I returnd.

among the trove were two handmade valentines. this one was part of a project from 1978. I used a favorite old shirt to make 15 valentines. the one I sent Michael is calld "Bananas are nothing but naughty things." the small figures are Piaf & Travolta. the major figure is our mutual friend Jeff Bixby in the play "You're a Good Man Charlie Brown."  the collage was in an envelope on which I'd typed: "Michael -- if you open this before tuesday   yr cock will fall off."

I remember the patternd shirt series well but have zero memory of the other valentine Michael returnd.  it apparently was made in 1982. I think the fabric is a panel from the pair of pants I'm wearing in my Jim Hinchee photo shoot. one of those is my author photo for The Avalanche of Time.

the piece has 8 squares. the first is a plastic packet containing what I presume is my hair. next is part of a post card of a forgotten motel. next a clipping of a rose. then a drawing of what cd be a heart?

the bottom row begins with a drawing of part of a circle. then a quotation from The Year Book. next what appears to be a trio of blood stains which I suspect are mine. finally a portrait of actress Lois Wilson.

when Michael gave it to me I simply didn't remember it & a week later still don't. unlike the 1978 series I suspect this is one of a kind. I'm so happy Michael saved this & everything else. & how special that he gave all of this back -- knowing how these touchstones to our past help me in my current work.

02 August 2018

seen by others

in my long life I've been lucky to have been photographd by some of the best:

Stathis Orphanos
Walter Chappell
Timothy Greenfield-Sanders
Jonathan Williams
Eric Schwabel
Michael Chikiris
Joel Singer
David Wallace Crotty
Bryan Ockert

now I can add Stephen Baumbach to the list. all this month his exhibition "Faces" is showing at his gallery in the Backstreet Art District.

I confess his high contrast b&w close-up was startling at first. I have no problems with wrinkles. we earn those. but age spots & all that are unnerving. however to be a good model you submit to a photographer who gets what he wants.

the portrait currently on Stephen's wall is all over social media. but here is one of the discards.

01 August 2018

"Key Lime Waffles"

      for Dianne Borsenik

in a smaller arcade
across Euclid
from The Arcade
friends meet
for breakfast

it’s almost a poem
but bite into citrus dough
strikes words

that make it so

"Ghosts of the Arcade"

        for John Burroughs

sitting under clock
in middle of bridge
in middle of mercantile center
Eisenmann & Smith built in 1890
I look in one direction
to bookstore Hart Crane hauntd
& in other to cigar counter

up there was the Asphodel
where Jim Lowell sold me
my first Jargon imprint
publishd by Jonathan Williams
& where d.a. levy brought
mimeograph manifestos

one day I too will be a ghost
waiting for someone
to sit under this clock
& say words written here

31 July 2018

back from Ohio

where I celebrated Dad's 100th birthday with cousins & my parents' loving neighbors Lenny & Ellie D'Agostino. we gatherd graveside at Ridge Hill with a wreath & cake from Kiedrowski's. I wantd it to be a happy time because both of my parents always loved a party.

19 July 2018


please....... someone....... anyone
get rid of this shit
before he kills us all

17 July 2018

Henry Walker (1938-2018)

when I moved from Kent to Santa Fe Henry gave me this lovely watercolor of Union Station in LA. I'm looking at it on my walls at this moment.

09 July 2018

not the best morning

usually I sleep well. hit the pillow & am out til morning. but last nite I had weird dreams (including Doris Day in a pink bikini) & woke several times.

once out of bed I learnd that Tab Hunter died but the "president" didn't.

then outside the air was so bad I cdn't see the mountains. I presume this rarity was because of yesterday's nearby fire. altho the air smelld more of Salton Sea than ash.

finally at the gym the steam room was closed.  so I decided to come home to shower.

almost afraid to turn on the news now.......

08 July 2018


I bought this painting from Mary Ann Begland exactly a half century ago & have loved it all these years

28 June 2018

a bright spot

in such a dark week.....

last month I was hired by Cord Media for a 2-day shoot for their coming ad campaign for Spotlight 29 Casino in Indio. they wantd a "mature" gentleman who was willing to streak. wonderful photographer Eric Schwabel -- who was doing the print part of the campaign -- immediately thot of me. wonder why? anyway I've long wantd to pose for Eric. I had visions of my portrait in one of his beautiful books or on the wall of a swank gallery. so I ended up on a billboard. I'm thrilld. 

didn't learn the exact location til today. it's on Rt 10 heading east just past the Jefferson St exit. so Tony Mataras & I went out. he took photos & video. for that delightful time I put all the bad news aside.

27 June 2018

there goes

the Supreme Court for the rest of my life

if you voted for the turd I never want to see you again

26 June 2018

David Prittie (1954-2018)

"mad abt the boy." the song from a production he was in that I saw & saw again because he was in it.

yes. mid '70s. David was a young beauty at Kent & I cdn't get enuf of him.

eventually we workd together.  in 1976 I wrote a piece for choreographer Connie May. it was called "Crossing." on stage were 2 dancers (Connie & Genie Schoettler) & 2 readers (David & I). I still remember standing next to him in the wings waiting to go on & his sweet greeting. so close it was as if we were abt to kiss. but we had to find our places on stage.

the next year he appeard in the Kent Acting & Touring Company production of my adaptation of "A Christmas Carol."

& then he went off to Yale. & finally to NYC. there he continued to work in theater but more & more off stage. he became well known as a graphic designer.

I have no photos with David. Lainard Bush videotaped a performance of "Crossing" but as so often happens it's gone missing.

it's been many years since I last saw David but he has his own small spot in my heart.

17 June 2018

"For the Children in the Camps"

I wish
my arms were bigger
so I cd hold you
my back broader
so I cd carry you
out of yr cages
to yr parents

I wish
we cd sway together
in a hammock
while I make up
a story abt an elephant
like Dad did for me

I wish
I cd make you laugh

08 June 2018

"The Baker Sisters"

is a series on Food Network. I appear in the Over the Rainbow segment. it's brief but tasty. to see it click here then type in password "baked."

with Jean Parker -- one of the sisters.