17 January 2005

a proposal

since my last post I've survivd 4 flights. the collapse of personal deportment of passengers has become deplorable. for some reason I took it upon myself somewhere above Texas this afternoon to seek a means of improvement.

I recalld how some of my contemporaries who went to Catholic schools were formd by the tyranny of nuns. so I propose that airlines hire sisters as flight attendants. I can envision them standing hawk-like at entry preventing those wearing flipflops or pajamas from boarding. they can patrol the aisle with rulers ready to thwack misbehaving children as well as parents who allow misbehavior. they will deny peanuts & beverages to those so overweight they flop over into another's space. those who cough without covering their mouths or who practice other failues of manners will be immediately expelld (even after take-off).

I don't expect the return of gentlemen in suits & appropriately-attird ladies dining with cloth napkins & real china. the elegance of flight is in past tense. but I long for a revival of civility & discipline.

2 comments:

durlx said...

My brother and I have this short hand about how my flight was... when it was a trying sort of flight, I say "They were handing out the My First Airplane Ride Coloring Books!"

I fly enough now that I actually resent all the stewardesses, and even the cute stewards... I mean, these baby sitter/waiters with a death wish get payed about 30 bucks an hour to serve little half glasses of soft drinks and give out tiny bags of pretzles. And to herd the morons into their seats...

Honey, I left my pill box hat on a TWA flight 20 years ago...

I'd rather bring my own snacks and a baseball bat to help the weaker ones board.

AlexG said...

remember the days when flight attendants were hot? & those of both sexes. now that we've become so politically correct that age & weight can no longer be considerations for employment the service crew is terribly unwelcoming. the women particularly seem to be more & more elderly & ill-mannerd.

it's not fun flying anymore...