under a peacock

at San Marcos Feed Store

Lizabeth Scott (1922-2015)

& here's a photo I took of her some years ago at the Beverly Hilton:

from my resorts

blooming cactus: Inn Exile (Palm Springs)

succulent: Alcazar (Fort Lauderdale)

stucco fragment: Blue Moon (Las Vegas)

matchbook: Parliament House (Orlando)

mug: Elysium Resort (Fort Lauderdale)

jockstrap: Canyon Club (Palm Springs)

Leo Bud Welch plays Santa Fe

& with opening act Alex Maryol:

today's hike

Tsankawi
sans camera

Charles Farrell (1900-1990)

every time I go to a familiar place I seek something new.

this weekend in Palm Springs I went to a small cemetery in downtown. I touchd the tombstones of architect Albert Frey & one of the original Keystone Kops -- Chester Moorten.

but the real reason I was there was to honor this silent screen star:

he was a handsome man known for his smile & his hair. I've written about him before. he died before I got to his city. so this is as close as I'll come.

Palm Springs modern

chez Ebersole/Hughes

Parker Hotel

Inn Exile

going thru

old files before sending them to my collection at Kent State I found this 1968 polaroid:

it's Mary Ann Begland signing her painting "Isadora."


here we are years later with the same painting (which still hangs in my living room).

calling all doll collectors

before putting the family house on the market I took this picture of part of Mom's doll collection:

I need to find good homes for the dolls.  those which I got Mom during my travels I'm keeping but there are just too many for me.

if you are a real collector let me know. I'm willing to give you a doll for the price of postage.

Ray Johnson (1927-1995)

hard to believe he's been gone 20 years.

I wrote to Johnson in the summer of 1977 inviting him to contribute to the catalog for Ira Joel Haber's retrospective at Kent State which I was editing. he sent a piece which we used. I returnd the original art to him per his instruction.

this is the only piece of his I own:

when the University Libraries got rid of its card catalog in the early 1990s I got the idea of selecting some cards to send to the authors for signatures. as a fundraiser for Special Collections we sold the cards.

among those I purchased was this one with Johnson's signature backwards & snaking from front of card to rear.

Palm Springs is

close today because this cactus is in bloom.  it began as a tiny cutting from Inn Exile. over the years it's grown into this.

"Matchless"

photo by Elisa Wike Hurley

for a short time as an undergrad I smoked a pipe -- mostly in my room at Stopher Hall. in  my drinking days a handful of cigarets. & that one time a cigar.  those instances aside I identify as a non-smoker.

but I am a collector & documentarian of my times. so in those days when so many restaurants & hotels displayd heaps of matchbooks for the taking I took.

like so many others I put them in a large glass container. when that filld I startd a second jar.  fear of fire causd me to remove the actual matches -- which I suppose is anathma to true collectors in the field. but I was collecting memories more than artifacts.

I've announcd my intentions to downsize & that I'm thinking of the whole project as a piece of mail art. but as I approach such a daunting task I keep getting ideas for smaller projects within that grand one.

so I dumpd the containers which I discoverd held nearly 500 items dating back to at least 1967. I pickd a handful of favorites which I'll keep in the glass stein someone gave my father for a birthday. soon I'll start mailing out the others.

photo by E W H

je suis Charlie

let the downsizing begin

those who know me -- or have read me -- realize the importance of things in my life. no. I'm not a hoarder. but for 7 decades I have been a collector. & I've always gaind true comfort from the history of the objects that surround me.

in the last several months I experienced a confluence of happenings which promptd a serious look at how my movie will end. don't jump to conclusions. I don't plan on that fade-out for some time. but at a certain age it becomes one to get a life in order.

& so I've decided that as much as things in my life have sustaind & enrichd me I have simply too much. I need to live simpler. so out will go the superfluous. how many ice cream scoopers does one person need?

but there are some treasures too dear to put on the curb. & it's up to me to find them new homes. realizing this actually fills me with joy. during the new year I plan on a slow & deliberate transfer of parts of my life to institutions & friends.

so if in the coming months you receive a box from me be happy.  it means I've chosen you to forever be part of my life. think of it as a major mail art project. making my past a part of yr present is going to be an adventure for me.

"fan of envelopes"

my newest piece

just learnd

that a high school classmate died on Xmas eve.  he was the 99th from our class to die. apparently 100 will probably be this week as another classmate in hospice has only days left.

for me

the holidays are a place where the living & the dead mingle.

in my dream (the last of last year or the first of the new year or both?) I was staying at a resort in a warm place. I was having dinner with Algesa & Joe O'Sickey. Mom stopped by our table to join us for dessert & eventually Dad came by as well. when it was over we all got up to go our separate ways. just then David Hockney strolld by & walkd me to my suite.

& then I woke up.

a memorable NYE dinner

this meal opens my poem "Capodanno 1984   Venezia"

Jo Van Fleet (1914-1996)

in celebrating her centennial I'd be remiss if I didn't quote one of my favorite lines from Frank O'Hara:

Who do you think you are, anyway? Jo Van Fleet?

Dad was in my dream last nite

& then today I rememberd where he was 70 years ago.



I watchd this with tears.

thank you Dad. I love you & miss you.

surprise visit

finally met Geof Huth   

Richard Widmark (1914-2008)

Xmas 1986

poor Tobias doesn't look thrilld. but most of the times he didn't mind being held this way.  in fact I have lovely memories of dancing with him.

31 years ago

last nite I was going thru old "stuff" & found a cache of receipts from my holiday trip to Italy.

on Xmas eve 1983 I attended the pope's mass. I went for the show biz angle & it was that in spades. & then there was a memorable NYE in Venice.

major housecleaning

third day of work. altho I dislike the toil part I'm enjoying moving things around the house. re-envisioning what my most intimate environment looks like.

GWTW

"Gone With the Wind" had its premiere 75 years ago today.  & no Auntie Vera I wasn't there.

I once saw it at Manhattan's legendary Palace Theater with Richard Nelson (not the playwright but Lord & Taylor's graphic designer). then there was 1989 in Wheeling when the screening was introduced by Butterfly McQueen.

Lupe Velez (1908-1944)

70 years since one of Hollywood's most famous suicides

holy cameo Batman

today's hike

Cerrillos Hills State Park

change

it's hard. gets harder with age. but I'm working to make change a springboard.

Sam Harris (1877-1965)

last nite I got my Carolyn Jones fix by seeing "Last Train from Gun Hill."  it's a predictable western worth seeing only for Jones whose brilliance often elevatd mundane material. at one moment she stood next to Sam Harris. now I see this man almost every week. he was in some 600 films from 1928 right up till his death.

but last nite I wonderd why he hasn't been the subject of more discussion. if Bess Flowers is veneratd as "the queen of the dress extras" (as well she shd be) then Harris deserves to be king. apparently those in the business calld him "The Major." & some sources list him as Major Sam Harris. perhaps this is why the sobriquet "the king of the extras" isn't used. but when I think of the world of Hollywood extras it's always Flowers & Harris who come to mind first.

I can't breathe.

my own private chorus line

some of the things that happen in my head cd never happen in reality. for instance I have this chorus line of all those splendid lads I've been seeing over the decades -- on Broadway & tour & summer stock. but in my head they never age. David Evans at one end looks as young in this line as Tyler Hanes at the other.

they smile & kick. & thrill me endlessly.

I don't have a religious fantasy abt an afterlife.  but I've seen enuf movies to know how I wd direct my death. I'd be in a white tux. tapping my way up a staircase. & on each row of the staircase wd be one of my chorus boys in black tuxes -- smiling those magical smiles & offering a hand up.

who cd ask for anything more?

Kenny Delgado (1955-2014)

another Santa Fe legend is gone. some calld Canuto our town's number one music fan. indeed he loved music & food & good times with friends & family.

this is probably my favorite photo of him. when I learnd he was that New Mexico rarity -- a Cleveland Browns fan -- I gave him my father's cap. it made me smile when I saw him wear it.

here we are with my dear neighbors Rita & Phil at Farm & Table before hearing Ringo Starr & his all-stars:

& Phil took the final picture of me with Kenny in Carlos Santana's dressing room 2 months ago.  it's not the best picture of either of us but now holds great sentiment:

guess I am getting old

I've had so many great Thxgivings

but

I'm more than happy to be home today

underwear alert

this post is for my guy friends who enjoy colorful underwear.

not sure if you can tell from this photo but the elastic band in these Justus Boyz is gone. now this sometimes happens after a year or so. but this was after the first washing! I've never had this happen before.

desert holiday flick

Fred Olen Ray began his prolific career by making slasher films. eventually he graduated to the sexploitation field. he must hold the record for having directd the most movies with "bikini" in the title.  so you can imagine my shock when I checkd the credits for something calld "Christmas in Palm Springs" & discoverd it was produced & directd by FOR.

so I watchd it. to be kind -- it's crap. of course I liked seeing scenes at the art museum. but this is FOR. one expects a madman to be chasing a bikini babe thru the museum with a chainsaw. or let me indulge fantasy & ask for a beguiling shot of a guy in a jockstrap walking thru the wading pool at Inn Exile. but no -- this is family formula. I had no idea FOR did this kind of thing.

the past keeps returning

yesterday Judith Gollust King sent me this remarkable photo she took in april 1969 of an SDS demonstration in front of the admin building at Kent State.

that's me under the lamppost on the right (I know a tie with a shortsleeve shirt is so wrong). next to me (with the wonderful hair) is Bill Whitaker. & all the way on the left (with his camera) is David King.

this was during my tenure as staff writer with University News Service. I was hired primarily to cover the arts. but of course did hard news as well. & that certainly was a volatile time. altho I was as good covering news on the run as more deliberate features it increasingly became difficult on a personal level.  I remember covering one rally when Ted Joy came up to me & shoutd "pig" in my face.  because I was in the employ of the university.  after the shootings it became even more difficult so I talkd my way into a job at the library.

seeing a photograph from a distant time you've never seen before is always fascinating. it opens a window to that past that can be quite different than memory. & sometimes it even opens doors in that memory that have been closed for some time.

everything old is new again

when I was cleaning out my parents' house I found a pair of vintage swim trunks with a Hawaiian design. I presumed they were Dad's. they were so quaint they went into the save box.

some time later I was going thru family photos & found this of Mom & I at a 1956 picnic with the Poling family:

yes. that's me in those trunks. they were mine. & my parents had saved them all these decades.

2 days ago Tim Jones took this of me wearing them at his Arizona Sunburst Inn:

back from Phoenix

weekend getaway to hear "Rigoletto" with Sarah Coburn.

weather was all over the place   ranging from 40s to 80s. on the one good day I did a 9-mile walk. but the fluctuations in temps did a number on my sinuses.

today's hike

La Luz

when words retire

I was reading a Maxwell Bodenheim poem which includes the word "flagon." of course I know what it means but I hadn't heard it since maybe watching some Robin Hood movie ages ago.

language is fluid. words come & go. literature captures some for posterity. it's been a while but there was a time when I enjoyd reclaiming words. something startling from Shakespeare can still be used with vigor.

so maybe "flagon" will reappear. poetry is always filling the cup.

Hedy Lamarr (1914-2000)

there is some division abt her birth date.  altho most sources have today as her centennial there remains out there speculation that she was born in 1913.

this is my favorite photo of Hedy. it's from "The Ziegfeld Girl."

in 1962 I was on Kent State's spring theater tour & walking down Shubert Alley. Lillian Roth was signing autographs outside her stage door. which thrilld me since I was a big Roth fan. but then a short distance from her was a heavily-made-up woman with a scarf over her head also signing. I didn't recognize her as anyone from Roth's current musical so askd someone nearby who it was. yes. Hedy Lamarr right there in front of me.

I think that autograph is in my papers at Kent State.

____________________________________________

& then another case of synchronicity.

for some reason I was thinking abt a name from my past -- David Roggensack. he was a press rep in NYC's theater world. googling him I discoverd a 1971 column by Arthur Bell abt the opening of American Place Theater which mentions both David (who was doing the company's press at the time) & Hedy who showd up at APT's opening.

peculiarity of a single man

for years I've slept on the right side of the bed & on my right side. from time to time I'll roll over to experience the left side of the bed & then sleep on my left side (altho I once read that was bad for the heart). at hotels that have large beds -- like Blue Moon -- I often stay for 4 nites & will sleep on the right side for 2 nites & on the left the other 2.

several days ago I wrenchd my back while digging up gopher trails. I decided sleeping on my back for a change mite be less painful. & then I decided why not put the 2 pillows which I generally have on each side of the bed on top of each other in the middle. & for a couple of nites now I've gone to bed this way. 

as I age I often find change difficult. but I have to admit that this particular change feels quite lovely. & for someone who hasn't slept with someone else on a regular basis for some time it seems it suddenly feels more fitting than what I've been doing for so long.

today's hike

we went to Jemez to soak in some of the pools. here I am on the trail there. the backpack was a gift from David Meredith   carrying case from Phil Andrews. the shirt was Mike Carver's   vest Dad's.  in the backpack was my Blue Moon beach towel & sandals I bought in Philadelphia.

variants

once a rare book librarian always a rare book librarian.

for 2 days I've been giddy. yesterday I got my copies of Hydeout Press' Renegade Flowers. & there are 2 editions of this already scarce item. the "standard" edition of only 74 copies has d.a. levy's portrait blindstampd on the front cover.  the even rarer contributors edition of only 26 copies has a flower on the front cover. (very difficult to see these details in this photo)

today I got my copies of the second printing of my flip book  from Poet's Haven. all that has changed is that the number one is now absent from the copyright page. but -- hey -- Gildzen collectors must have both issues.

Donald Saddler (1920?-2014)

photo by Carl Van Vechten

first day of backward clocks

& weekend of day of the dead. it's raining & cold. so I'm sipping Genmai Cha from Cynthia & nibbling a warm croissant from Dulce on which I spread butter & lavender vanilla bean sugar I bought the other day at Savory Spice Shop.

happy & not so

this was taken at Halloween 5 years ago in room 112 of Blue Moon in Las Vegas. the paper pumpkin -- which right now is on my mantle -- & cat were among spooky items Dad bought at some sale & gave me. the manuscript was one of many pieces I wrote in that hotel over the nearly 11 years I stayd there. & the Warhol notebook I bought at his retrospective at MOCA. it's a volume of my Wanderbuch.

I'm no fan

of reality tv but I just watchd "Rival Survival" because Martin Heinrich is my senator

& because I thot it was a fascinating chapter in current American politics.

the show had Heinrich (a Democrat) with fellow senator Jeff Flake (a Republican) working together to survive a week on one of the Marshall Islands.

because it's only an hour (minus commercials) there's more left out than was there. we see them eat one clam during a full week in the sun & they live. probably Discovery Channel found it too boring to be a series. but one does feel cheatd. however it was fun to see perhaps the two best-looking men in the Senate running around in such conditions. & it certainly is good for their careers.

Doug Baird (1950?-1986)

Facebook is getting a lot of shit lately. people dropping out for this reason or that. but I still spend time there & enjoy the community it brings to me.

recently someone postd photos taken at a reading at Shelly's bookstore in Kent originally published by the Akron Beacon Journal in 1975. these are of Doug:

I never knew him well. mostly we'd see each other at bars. I recall only one really long conversation. but his suicide sticks in my quilt of Kent memories.

after seeing these photos I startd to think abt him. I lookd up his poems


A haiku

footprints of my past
faint scent of a mountain cat
to the grazing deer

& short stories

"Hi Bud," Hank managed, suppressing an impulse to rush out the door toward the horizon and make a desperate leap for that hole in the world.

I began to wonder what he wd've written had he lived longer. I began to wonder what time wd've done to his good looks. I began to wonder if he wd've been on Facebook & we wd've been friends there & gotten to know each other better than we had all those years ago.

spectacular day

when I got home from the gym I read some dream songs. then put on the shirt Sal added to the box as a surprise & sunglasses some gentleman left after my final bbq at Blue Moon. I hit the rail trail for a 2-hour hike.

when I returnd I prepared a sumptuous lunch & took it outside to my beautiful wood table. I enjoyd every bite while looking at a yard of cactus & hollyhock & juniper.

before I nap let me say a bit more abt the tee Sal sent. it's from Fligner's. this famous supermarket is across from St. Joseph's Hospital in Lorain. when Dad had appointments at the VA there he always stoppd at Fligner's to load up. as I recall my parents were particularly fond of their bacon. & at this moment I have in my freezer some of Fligner's garlic-smoked kielbasa.

this is the back of the tee:

John Berryman (1914-1972)

today is his centennial

Mom's camel

my cousin Sal back in Ohio was storing a few last items from 429 Winckles. the box with them just arr'd. & there was this:

I have no idea when or where Mom got this piece.  & I'm not sure why I decided to keep it. there's simply something so eccentric abt it that it's a sweet memory.

in this picture of Dianne Borsenik on her last visit to that house you'll see the camel in the background:

upon waking

I stretchd in bed & recitd poems from "Blue Moon Suite."

"all visual stuff"

before morning got light it raind. that made the day cool. sun's out now but it's windy. I'm drinking the last of the coffee.  it's cold too. & stew's thawing on stove.

I just finishd reading the Green Panda edition of d.a. levy's Suburban Monastery Death Poem. it's been a while since I read it all the way thru.  it's weird to read now that I'm one of those "golden agers" levy didn't want to become. kept making me think what he'd be like if he was still alive & what he'd be writing.

but this edition is more than levy. the goddess that is Bree publishd this. but she also illustrated it. it's as if she climbs into yr head while you're reading & pulls out the images we all make.

so it's still levy. but it's also Bree. & it shd be you & me too.  

I cd point out some witty Bree touches like what she does with "a beautiful set of jugs." but I'm not a critic nor a killjoy. buy yr own copy & roll around in it.

today's hike

on Saddle Back Trail

"Blue Moon" -- the film