the noise of the crowd woke John Boehner. he rose from the tanning bed like Dracula from his coffin & lookd at the people. Boehner began to bellow abt deficits when one of the crowd spit on him. a look of shock came over his face. then he began to cry. Eric Cantor -- who happend to be nearby -- came running over. he cleand up the spit with his hanky then huggd Boehner. "faggots" the crowd began to yell.
Boehner & Cantor lookd at each other in horror & began to run. the darker of the two got out his phone & calld Mitch McConnell for help.
"the American people do not want me to take this call" McConnell sd & hung up.
he knew Michele Bachman had a home in the area & calld her. she answerd from the fallout shelter in her backyard. when Boehner askd for help she sd "but you told me to always say no."
"call Rush" Cantor told the man with the dark skin. Boehner punchd in that number. a woman answerd. "I'm sorry. Mr. Limbaugh is on his way to Costa Rica."