a first kiss & other memories

 one of my few public school classmates with whom I still communicate sent me a photo I'd never seen. it was of a 7th grade class at Eastern Heights. I probably have never seen it because it's not my homeroom. but I knew so many in that photo.

this is a section I editd. the boy with glasses is my best friend from that period -- the artist T. R. Queen. & the blonde on the right in front is Denise Gainer. I was struck by their proximity because there is a photobooth shot of Tom & I on a double date with Denise & her younger sister on the cover of Alex in Movieland.

I've written abt Tom over the years because he was a major figure in my early life. but I don't think I've written abt Denise.

as you can see she was a beauty. even in junior high she stood out with her movie star looks. Denise was a neighbor. we only went out together a few times. but I remember once we kissd. I don't recall the details of the date but I have a vivid memory of that kiss. the first time I ever kissd a girl. & strangely I have zero memory of my first boy kiss.

Denise began singing when she was 9 & while in high school she appeard semi-regularly on Gene Carroll's tv show in Cleveland. it was Carroll who introduced her to band leader Blue Barron. after high school Denise hit the road as Barron's singer. she ended up in Chicago where 2 years later she got a leading role in the musical review "Put It in Writing." we all thot she was on her way to stardom. but then we didn't hear anything.

she died in Kentucky in 2009. her obituary noted her 34-year marriage. 2 children & 9 grandchildren. & a life long love of music.

the saddest part

of reading my high school reunion booklet is the "in memory" section. there were 465 graduates in our class. according to the booklet 80 have died. & then an e-mail from the reunion committee informing us of 3 more deaths. among those was Denise Gainer.

Denise was a 5-foot blonde who was movie-star beautiful. she was an early girl crush. we "dated" briefly. here's a picture taken in the Woolworth photo booth in downtown Elyria.

she began singing lessons at age 9 & was doing commercials at the same time she was appearing in the high school choir alongside the late Jimmie F. Skaggs. throuout high school she appeard on Cleveland tv shows & after graduation became a vocalist with Blue Barron's band. later she appeard on stage in Chicago. somewhere along the way I lost touch. I heard she got married but knew nothing more of her life.

where are you Mary Lou?

how the mind works.  what part memory plays in its working.  the older I get the more that fascinates me.

after posting that picture in front of Eastern Heights I began remembering those years.  I've written often abt Miss Radachy because she was so important to my development. & Miss Hackett the librarian. but I also remember the attractive Miss Hyman & an art teacher who liked opera.

then my peers. Ann Cantwell & Gary Fleming & Denise Gainer & Ed Buttle & Jane Gottfried & Bill Cooper & Barb Horwitz.  how often some of their faces have been in my dreams.  but then there are names which suddenly crop up for seemingly no reason.  like Mary Lou Konkel.  when I creatd & wrote the "8-4 News" she was my typist. but her face has faded & I have no idea what became of her.

some days tiny bits of my past surface.  sometimes the revelation staggers.  other times I question if that was ever real.

(the only picture I have of myself with Miss Radachy)

maybe it was the blue moon

but once again something happend in a dream that was so startling it woke me up.

I was getting out of an elevator at Chateau Marmont & there in front of me was Denise Gainer.  because in reality I hadn't seen her in decades she was as young & fresh & beautiful as I rememberd her. but strangely in the dream I knew she was dead.  & it was the shock of seeing someone you know is dead that shook me so I woke immediately.

& as I lingerd there wondering if I shd try to go back to sleep I rememberd she was the first girl I ever kissd.  & I even rememberd the taste of her kiss. so I got out of bed. I saw that full moon out the window.  I grabbd my camera & went outside to get a few shots,