my own private chorus line

some of the things that happen in my head cd never happen in reality. for instance I have this chorus line of all those splendid lads I've been seeing over the decades -- on Broadway & tour & summer stock. but in my head they never age. David Evans at one end looks as young in this line as Tyler Hanes at the other.

they smile & kick. & thrill me endlessly.

I don't have a religious fantasy abt an afterlife.  but I've seen enuf movies to know how I wd direct my death. I'd be in a white tux. tapping my way up a staircase. & on each row of the staircase wd be one of my chorus boys in black tuxes -- smiling those magical smiles & offering a hand up.

who cd ask for anything more?

Kenny Delgado (1955-2014)

another Santa Fe legend is gone. some calld Canuto our town's number one music fan. indeed he loved music & food & good times with friends & family.

this is probably my favorite photo of him. when I learnd he was that New Mexico rarity -- a Cleveland Browns fan -- I gave him my father's cap. it made me smile when I saw him wear it.

here we are with my dear neighbors Rita & Phil at Farm & Table before hearing Ringo Starr & his all-stars:

& Phil took the final picture of me with Kenny in Carlos Santana's dressing room 2 months ago.  it's not the best picture of either of us but now holds great sentiment:

guess I am getting old

I've had so many great Thxgivings

but

I'm more than happy to be home today

underwear alert

this post is for my guy friends who enjoy colorful underwear.

not sure if you can tell from this photo but the elastic band in these Justus Boyz is gone. now this sometimes happens after a year or so. but this was after the first washing! I've never had this happen before.

desert holiday flick

Fred Olen Ray began his prolific career by making slasher films. eventually he graduated to the sexploitation field. he must hold the record for having directd the most movies with "bikini" in the title.  so you can imagine my shock when I checkd the credits for something calld "Christmas in Palm Springs" & discoverd it was produced & directd by FOR.

so I watchd it. to be kind -- it's crap. of course I liked seeing scenes at the art museum. but this is FOR. one expects a madman to be chasing a bikini babe thru the museum with a chainsaw. or let me indulge fantasy & ask for a beguiling shot of a guy in a jockstrap walking thru the wading pool at Inn Exile. but no -- this is family formula. I had no idea FOR did this kind of thing.

the past keeps returning

yesterday Judith Gollust King sent me this remarkable photo she took in april 1969 of an SDS demonstration in front of the admin building at Kent State.

that's me under the lamppost on the right (I know a tie with a shortsleeve shirt is so wrong). next to me (with the wonderful hair) is Bill Whitaker. & all the way on the left (with his camera) is David King.

this was during my tenure as staff writer with University News Service. I was hired primarily to cover the arts. but of course did hard news as well. & that certainly was a volatile time. altho I was as good covering news on the run as more deliberate features it increasingly became difficult on a personal level.  I remember covering one rally when Ted Joy came up to me & shoutd "pig" in my face.  because I was in the employ of the university.  after the shootings it became even more difficult so I talkd my way into a job at the library.

seeing a photograph from a distant time you've never seen before is always fascinating. it opens a window to that past that can be quite different than memory. & sometimes it even opens doors in that memory that have been closed for some time.

everything old is new again

when I was cleaning out my parents' house I found a pair of vintage swim trunks with a Hawaiian design. I presumed they were Dad's. they were so quaint they went into the save box.

some time later I was going thru family photos & found this of Mom & I at a 1956 picnic with the Poling family:

yes. that's me in those trunks. they were mine. & my parents had saved them all these decades.

2 days ago Tim Jones took this of me wearing them at his Arizona Sunburst Inn:

back from Phoenix

weekend getaway to hear "Rigoletto" with Sarah Coburn.

weather was all over the place   ranging from 40s to 80s. on the one good day I did a 9-mile walk. but the fluctuations in temps did a number on my sinuses.

today's hike

La Luz

when words retire

I was reading a Maxwell Bodenheim poem which includes the word "flagon." of course I know what it means but I hadn't heard it since maybe watching some Robin Hood movie ages ago.

language is fluid. words come & go. literature captures some for posterity. it's been a while but there was a time when I enjoyd reclaiming words. something startling from Shakespeare can still be used with vigor.

so maybe "flagon" will reappear. poetry is always filling the cup.

Hedy Lamarr (1914-2000)

there is some division abt her birth date.  altho most sources have today as her centennial there remains out there speculation that she was born in 1913.

this is my favorite photo of Hedy. it's from "The Ziegfeld Girl."

in 1962 I was on Kent State's spring theater tour & walking down Shubert Alley. Lillian Roth was signing autographs outside her stage door. which thrilld me since I was a big Roth fan. but then a short distance from her was a heavily-made-up woman with a scarf over her head also signing. I didn't recognize her as anyone from Roth's current musical so askd someone nearby who it was. yes. Hedy Lamarr right there in front of me.

I think that autograph is in my papers at Kent State.

____________________________________________

& then another case of synchronicity.

for some reason I was thinking abt a name from my past -- David Roggensack. he was a press rep in NYC's theater world. googling him I discoverd a 1971 column by Arthur Bell abt the opening of American Place Theater which mentions both David (who was doing the company's press at the time) & Hedy who showd up at APT's opening.

peculiarity of a single man

for years I've slept on the right side of the bed & on my right side. from time to time I'll roll over to experience the left side of the bed & then sleep on my left side (altho I once read that was bad for the heart). at hotels that have large beds -- like Blue Moon -- I often stay for 4 nites & will sleep on the right side for 2 nites & on the left the other 2.

several days ago I wrenchd my back while digging up gopher trails. I decided sleeping on my back for a change mite be less painful. & then I decided why not put the 2 pillows which I generally have on each side of the bed on top of each other in the middle. & for a couple of nites now I've gone to bed this way. 

as I age I often find change difficult. but I have to admit that this particular change feels quite lovely. & for someone who hasn't slept with someone else on a regular basis for some time it seems it suddenly feels more fitting than what I've been doing for so long.

today's hike

we went to Jemez to soak in some of the pools. here I am on the trail there. the backpack was a gift from David Meredith   carrying case from Phil Andrews. the shirt was Mike Carver's   vest Dad's.  in the backpack was my Blue Moon beach towel & sandals I bought in Philadelphia.

variants

once a rare book librarian always a rare book librarian.

for 2 days I've been giddy. yesterday I got my copies of Hydeout Press' Renegade Flowers. & there are 2 editions of this already scarce item. the "standard" edition of only 74 copies has d.a. levy's portrait blindstampd on the front cover.  the even rarer contributors edition of only 26 copies has a flower on the front cover. (very difficult to see these details in this photo)

today I got my copies of the second printing of my flip book  from Poet's Haven. all that has changed is that the number one is now absent from the copyright page. but -- hey -- Gildzen collectors must have both issues.

Donald Saddler (1920?-2014)

photo by Carl Van Vechten

first day of backward clocks

& weekend of day of the dead. it's raining & cold. so I'm sipping Genmai Cha from Cynthia & nibbling a warm croissant from Dulce on which I spread butter & lavender vanilla bean sugar I bought the other day at Savory Spice Shop.